Losing Animals, and Remembering

 

The matriarch of our La Mancha dairy goats; Purple Thistle Moonlight. We just called her Moonie.

She died today and I cried.

We have lost so many animals over the years that my children stopped writing the names on the ‘memory wall’ in the barnyard. Chickens, cats, rabbits, lambs, stillborn goat kids… Oh well. We handle it with regret, but as part of life.

In fact just last month one of our dogs had killed a chicken and the UPS truck inadvertantly opened it’s door right over it. My daughter knowing most people would be disturbed over such a sight, quickly tossed it behind the truck, and stood smiling nonchalantly while he found the package. But then he said “good one, I almost didn’t see that”, so she was caught. That’s when you feel a bit farm callused.

But today’s loss was different and so unexpected. Especially when we didn’t even know she was trying to give birth, probably in the middle of the night. I felt awful that I wasn’t there for her.

What I love is that we don’t talk about the stubborn streaks she had at times trying to milk her, we remember the funny quirks of her personality, all that rich milk (of course), and are reminded of all the learning curves we had with her over the years. Goodness she was patient with us…we knew NOTHING.

It’s no different than with people is it. After they are gone we tend to remember the good. Only the good.

I love that.

Recently I read an article about a man who lost his wife, he was mentioning this very thing. He didn’t remember their disagreements or her faults, just the good things about her, how she squeezed his hand, little things. —Which made me hope there are some good things about me my husband will be able to hold on to! But mostly it encouraged me to do that now. More. Looking for, and remembering the good in everyone around me. Life is too short.

Speaking of short lives, bees have short lives. Six months tops (with the exception of the Queen). However last week we discovered ALL of our beehives died as well. Big huge that-made-me-mad bummer.

So that was still fresh in my mind when Moonie died,  and so was reading the book of Job. NOT that I have a clue what it was like for Job to lose thousands of sheep, camels, oxen, donkeys and all of his children in one day, but that he fell to the ground in worship is monumental here.

So after I dried my leaky eyes and pulled on my chore boots, I gathered my crew of children and thanked God for a whole list of things….then for therapy we did some deep spring cleaning in the goat shelter…shoveled, scraped and tractored away (I’m pretty sure that’s a verb, or it should be) a whole mountain of “sunshine” for our garden. For hours. Not very spiritual, but just a little way to generate some good memories with my Sweet Peas, in memory of Moonie.